"I just killed our son"
My husband said too me as I walked in the front door. It was Sunday, January 12th 1986 about 9pm. The day will be etched in my memory for eternity. I had just come home from work. I was a cashier at a local super market a few blocks down from our apartment house. When CJ was 9 months old, my husband was laid off from work. I took a part time job at night so he could look for work in the day. It was too expensive for daycare or a baby sitter. This way we could both take turns watching him grow up and being able to witness his first steps and first words etc.

"What do you mean you just killed our son?!!!"
He just stood there in the doorway with a blank stare on his face. I shook my head in disbelief and thought to myself... "what the heck is he talking about." I turned and looked at him. He was still standing there in the doorway with this strange look on his face; then I noticed he had his coat on and thought how odd that was. I got a horrible feeling in my gut and became frantic and said, "Where is he?" He just stood there with that blank look on his face. Then he pointed toward our bedroom. I quickly went into the room. We had a king-size bed that took up most of the room. I had to walk around it to get to my son's nursery. As I walked around the bed, something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. A tiny little figure in the upper right corner of my bed...It was my son. He was lying still...Lifeless. As I ran toward him I noticed the blood, it was everywhere. His beautiful little perfectly shaped head was no longer round, more like flattened, his soft blonde hair caked in blood... a scream tore out of me before I knew I was even screaming. I felt it coming from bowels of my soul. I could feel my heart crushing. I just screamed and screamed...."This sort of thing only happens in the movies... please tell me this is not happening too me... to my baby!!! Please!!! I must be having a nightmare!!!! Please someone wake me up from this horrible nightmare!!"

My now ex-husband was convicted of manslaughter and sent to prison. He had beaten him to death with a baseball bat. He was released in 2003, then re arrested for parole violation. UPDATE:He (Curtis William Shaw), was released per NYS to "another facility" the states way of meaning to a Hospital type holding center. Then I received notice he was RELEASED on his own in 2012. I have no Idea where he is and no way of finding out do to HIPPA laws ie Dr-Patient confidentiality etc. SO PUBLIC BEWARE! To this day, I still don't know why he did it... "I can still smell the blood..."
(Continued on page 3)